December 18, 2008

#51 Socialite Status

The list so far has covered things and ways in which you can endear yourself to average, normal Malaysian people. But even those Malaysian people sometimes long for a life less ordinary and wish they were in the upper echelon of Malaysian society. Some Malaysians are fortunate to be born into such legacies while the rest sadly, will have to socialise their way to the top.

In their efforts to achieve a sense of self-actualization and achievement, Malaysian people would like nothing more than to be recognized as a person (and a name) around town. Someone with impeccable taste, elegance and sophistication. Someone who is a part of high society and indulges in decadent dinners and attends perennial parties. One can see how such an opulent lifestyle would prove more appealing than weekly excursions to the Pasar Malam and meals at the Mamak stall.

So for those cursed with working class backgrounds and surnames that don't open doors, there's a lot of work to be done in attaining a socialite's status (if not the wealth). The first is to be pervasively present at any event held in town. An aspiring socialite must be able to find his/her way into any occasion that has the creme de la creme of Malaysian society attending. This can be done by way of maintaining an inscrutable veneer of pretense and pretending to love everyone even though names have long since vanished from memory. When you love everyone, everyone will love you. And then you rein in the favours.

Next, it is crucial that you not only be seen but also remembered. This is simple and should be second nature to Malaysians; photography. To be a successful socialite, one must constantly be seen in pictures. Anyone, anytime, anywhere. Simple probability will tell you that the chances of you appearing in Tatler or other forms of venerable media will increase with the more pictures you appear in. Remember to have a forced smile on at all times just in case someone sneaks a picture of you while you aren't looking!

To really sell your product (you), one must fully exploit the platform that is the Web. Start a blog. If you're feeling particularly confident, start your own website. But regardless, the aim is to endlessly promote your activities and endeavours to the cyberworld at large. Post those pictures! Drop those names! In no time you'll be the It Girl/Guy of KL and everyone will want to be you (if not, beat you). You might even carve a career out of it and build a legion of admirers and groupies. Ain't life grand?

However, once you've achieved ascension of that social ladder, you'll have plenty of enemies and detractors. So you just be the cat by the bar toasting to the good life, ignore the haters and posers trying to pull you back, right? After all this social manoeuvreing, there is a chance that you will emerge a changed person. You might not like the person you've become, but at least everyone else will!


Aidan said...

So observant.

If all else fails, join a reality TV show. Come to think of it, winning or losing doesn't really matter, does it?


Surind Raj said...

LOL! hahaha

Another excellent piece from the masters...

Keep up the good work :)

Ammie said...

This is SO true!

Amritpal Singh said...

Very true and it's obvious in school & working enviroment that this happens!

B.H. said...


I suggest you try out for One In A Million.


Thank you. Keep up the laughter.


Preaching to the choir. Preach!


Politicking. Can't escape it.


Aidan said...

I don't want to be famous, don't want to be a star, don't want to be in movies.

B.H. said...


Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.


Anonymous said...

this whole idea of 'high society' really does not exist in malaysia. at least not yet. so people with the agenda of climbing the damn 'social ladder' are really making fools of themselves in that respect. i'm one of them. damnit.

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