#20 Hitz FM

Paramount to the Malaysian person’s identity is his/her taste in music (see post #7). To evaluate a Malaysian’s music repertoire, one must also consider the factor of public radio stations. Public radio stations in Malaysia are limited at best, but offer choices for varying demographics. For the past decade or so, one radio station has pervaded local airwaves and dominated the aural attention of listeners; Hitz FM. Hitz FM proclaims itself to be “Malaysia’s No.1 hit station” through sophisticated research founded on baseless claims. Their coverage is such that they have even established their own TV channel showcasing overhyped and underdeveloped local talents as well as their effusive and affected disc jockeys.

Hitz FM is not so much a radio station as it is a pre-programmed record player. Their revolutionary strategy to win over listeners is to play the same Top 40 songs on a rotation basis every four hours or so. Although many have lamented this repetitive format, Hitz FM still retains its listener base because Malaysians are predictable and still tune in despite their complaints. Besides their pre-determined playlists, Hitz FM incorporates ingenious and original programs into their routine. One such program is the trite and tested prank call which always succeeds in bemusing the victim and listeners due to its sheer inanity.

The DJs Hitz FM employ are also crucial to their success. Banking on Malaysians veneration of foreign elements, Hitz FM capitalises on this by hiring DJs with exotic accents that captivate and convince the average listener. This foreign policy also extends to the “local” talents showcased by Hitz FM in their media efforts (see post #10 for more information). The element of pretence is extremely vital to the station’s success because Malaysians aspire to be as hip and urbane as possible, which is thereby reflected in their choice of auditory channels.

In your efforts to determine how “Malaysian” a person is, the choice of radio channel is your most indicative insight. The truly Malaysian person will only have Hitz Fm playing on his radio to show that he is into mainstream music, has no independent thoughts of his own and enjoys being part of the popular mass majority (see post #11). These Malaysian traits have been duly identified and capitalised on by Hitz FM thereby retaining their place as the premier radio station.

To connect with a true Malaysian, say how much you dig the Morning Crew’s antics and that you once aspired to be a DJ in your youth. This will put you in good standing with the Malaysian as they recollect how they too harboured such fanciful thoughts while getting their daily dose of Malaysia’s most ostentatious radio station.



Further insight on Hitz FM here.

#7 Mainstream Music

Essential to the Malaysian identity is his/her appreciation of mainstream or popular foreign music. What we will identify as the "standard" level Malaysian covets acts such as Kanye West, Justin Timberlake, Coldplay, Maroon 5 and Rihanna. These acts make up the musical landscape of the average music aficionado. The standard level Malaysian attends most foreign artist concerts in Malaysia and purchases or downloads the latest pop releases so he/she can tell their friends all about it ("OMG, OMG you guys SO have to hear Lil Wayne's dope new album!"). Mainstream radio stations have been known to repeat songs on rotation due to the insatiable Malaysian palate for mainstream pop. Foreign music acts now view Malaysia as a pliable market for concerts and merchandising.

If you wish to start a conversation with the standard level Malaysian, just mention how you thought Coldplay's latest album (Coldplay does not appeal only to White People) really resonates with what you're going through right now. This will immediately remind the Malaysian of his or her own situation and how they have their own soundtrack to their lives playing on their iPod while they stare wistfully out the window of their car during a traffic jam, imagining that they are acting out a scene from a movie about their lives.

Mainstream music can also be used to identify and manipulate another type of Malaysian, what we will call the "advanced" level Malaysian (urban teens and yuppies generally). The advanced level Malaysian rejects popular music ("I don't listen to mass manufactured music") and only listens to obscure or independent foreign acts ("I'm really into this French neo-classical outfit now, you wouldn't have heard of it") which have yet to permeate the local music stratosphere. This ties in with their need to feel "unique" and allows them to be "a true individual". Mentioning your adoration of any mainstream music act will cause them to respect you less.

Acceptable acts you can mention to gain "street cred" are Ingrid Michaelson, Sigur Ros, Patrick Park, Sufjan Stevens, etc. Death Cab used to be the default indie band you could reference to show your astute music knowledge but now are considered mainstream (hence not cool). Alternatively, you could pick an unknown band from MySpace which no one likes or has heard of yet, this earns you maximum points with the advanced level Malaysian. Take note that if you harbor mainstream music guilty pleasures, you must suppress all urge to reference them in public. Statements such as "I heart James Blunt!" or "I rock apple bottoms like Fergie, fo shizzle" will destroy all your hard work.

If you have no musical knowledge whatsoever but have entered a conversation with a Malaysian regarding such a topic, just say you have a soft spot for Michael Learns To Rock. No Malaysian can resist this Danish soft rock band, all Malaysians at one point in their lives have owned at least one MLTR album and sang their songs at karaoke night. Some still do.