July 11, 2008

#20 Hitz FM

Paramount to the Malaysian person’s identity is his/her taste in music (see post #7). To evaluate a Malaysian’s music repertoire, one must also consider the factor of public radio stations. Public radio stations in Malaysia are limited at best, but offer choices for varying demographics. For the past decade or so, one radio station has pervaded local airwaves and dominated the aural attention of listeners; Hitz FM. Hitz FM proclaims itself to be “Malaysia’s No.1 hit station” through sophisticated research founded on baseless claims. Their coverage is such that they have even established their own TV channel showcasing overhyped and underdeveloped local talents as well as their effusive and affected disc jockeys.

Hitz FM is not so much a radio station as it is a pre-programmed record player. Their revolutionary strategy to win over listeners is to play the same Top 40 songs on a rotation basis every four hours or so. Although many have lamented this repetitive format, Hitz FM still retains its listener base because Malaysians are predictable and still tune in despite their complaints. Besides their pre-determined playlists, Hitz FM incorporates ingenious and original programs into their routine. One such program is the trite and tested prank call which always succeeds in bemusing the victim and listeners due to its sheer inanity.

The DJs Hitz FM employ are also crucial to their success. Banking on Malaysians veneration of foreign elements, Hitz FM capitalises on this by hiring DJs with exotic accents that captivate and convince the average listener. This foreign policy also extends to the “local” talents showcased by Hitz FM in their media efforts (see post #10 for more information). The element of pretence is extremely vital to the station’s success because Malaysians aspire to be as hip and urbane as possible, which is thereby reflected in their choice of auditory channels.

In your efforts to determine how “Malaysian” a person is, the choice of radio channel is your most indicative insight. The truly Malaysian person will only have Hitz Fm playing on his radio to show that he is into mainstream music, has no independent thoughts of his own and enjoys being part of the popular mass majority (see post #11). These Malaysian traits have been duly identified and capitalised on by Hitz FM thereby retaining their place as the premier radio station.

To connect with a true Malaysian, say how much you dig the Morning Crew’s antics and that you once aspired to be a DJ in your youth. This will put you in good standing with the Malaysian as they recollect how they too harboured such fanciful thoughts while getting their daily dose of Malaysia’s most ostentatious radio station.

Further insight on Hitz FM here.


Afif said...

B.H, your blog is brilliant! So much, I wanna have babies with you.

Anonymous said...

Muahahaha! I'm glad I found this blog! I've already recommended it to a couple of friends.

Too bad I'm working, or I would read it all the way to #1. I'm at #15 now :P

B.H. said...

Afif: Thanks for your kind words but unfortunately my eggs are in a state of suspended animation.

Klaw: Your efforts to promote the blog are very much appreciated. Come back anytime, we're open 24 hours.

Spread the word, guys! Malaysians need to take themselves less seriously.


synical said...

I don't even like the current Morning Crew - that's how "old" I am :P

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